Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Vipassana

I wake at 5:30 or 6, pee, then sit on my cushion. Close my eyes and breathe, moving my attention closer and closer to my nostrils till that fills my consciousness, the sensation of air moving in, the sensation of air moving out. Totally focused in the immediate moment of the breath occurring.

After a bit I move from Anapana, meditation on breath, to vipassanna, moving meditation on body sensation.

Top of the head, observing the sensation in the small spot I seem to find, then moving the attention systematically around, and down over the face, through the structure of my head, down the neck to the shoulder, arm, hand, fingers top then bottoms one by one. Then the other arm.

Then the trunk of my body, breasts, under, stomach, upper pelvis, hips both internal and external, then down the right leg through the knee and top of the foot to each toe, like the fingers, top then bottom. And back up from the bottom of the toes, the sole of my foot, heel, back of the leg and across my root. Sensitive genitals, anus, nerves, to the other leg.

I work back up from my extremes through my back, neck, skull and find my crown chakra.

One cycle.

Goenkaji says 8 cycles an hour are common.

When I am in the groove, in the zone, I can cycle in minutes, but that is not the goal. Finding the smallest sensation, the most focus on the most minute sensation may be. But I can also hold my focus on the whole of my physical presence at once too.

The objective is to observe the sensations throughout the body without craving for the "good" sensation or aversion to the "bad" sensation. To observe sensation equanimously. The theory is based on the buddhist idea of dependent origin, every thing that happens is based on some prior happening. This is what results in karma. So by observation without attachment, you are effectively rewriting the karma from the good or bad reaction into an equanimous state.

One hour, I have a timer on my iphone that gently lets me know when I am done.

Usually I am in a large personal space, almost limitless and ever so quiet. Sometimes I stay for a bit.

Then a bit of metta, sending love from the power of that vast space and peace to others. Wanting them to have real peace, real happiness.

This is my daily practice.

Join me

:)



Here is where:  http://www.manda.dhamma.org/



It looks so plain, but inside people become aware of themselves in ways they didn't know they could. Men and women are segregated, 10 days of silence, no speaking, 11 hours a day of meditation. Hard. But also driven by your own desire, not by any pressure from the volunteers who facilitate it, feed and house you or teach the courses. Have you ever given yourself 10 days to be with yourself in an environment that lets you see yourself from your own true perspective? I did. I loved it. No longer the bipolar, and selfish bitch I once was....I hope. I am more quiet now.

love

Chloe.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Twenty One



Twenty One.

The final step into the rest of my life. They say (those wise invisible philosophers we love so much), that life is what happens while you are waiting for your dreams to come true. A valuable anti-koan to meditate on as a young person.

It marks the end of dreams, or at least the end of the excuse of youth for having to many. Sad.

Yet potentially invigorating! The knowledge that THIS IS IT. Its for real now in a way that it isn't before. It's all down hill from here, to cliche it up some more.

I was supposed to have finished my opus, my fictional 10 year literary autobiographical romp from ages 21 to 31, by the time I actually reached the age I was in it. It was ambitions I know, and great in concept. I was going to follow up my first book "Far Edge of Seventeen" with a projection of what my life would be from ages 21 to 31.

I was to write of the love I would find, the work, babies, sex and drama. My divorce, deaths and the theme of my life and of my dreams, finding myself again. Far Edge was about finding myself.

Maybe I can only really write when I am lost? That would be a good thing, as it means I am not so lost right now. Still no enduring love with a partner, no career, no babies and way too little sex! But that is a common dilemma. I look around and see me everywhere, grown girls still dreaming.

I am less concerned now than a couple years back about my life, and where it is going. Less motivated to direct it obsessively. More accepting of the sweet flow, and more accepting of the bitter snags. Meditation brings insight. And acceptance, and joy, stability, patience...

But it is here. My life. Staring me in the face in every aware moment. Do I listen the to minds worries? All the what ifs? Or just be so very present in it at every moment that there is no room for extraneous thought?

The latter.

My love to you...

A feeling very mature Chloe


Thursday, July 25, 2013

Devi UnBorn


My heart is opening 

As I move out of mind

Sitting for hours

Not feeling the time

My own universe

Still quiet vast

Unmoving yet whole

Feeling free at last


-Vipassana