Wednesday, October 29, 2014


I wake at 5:30 or 6, pee, then sit on my cushion. Close my eyes and breathe, moving my attention closer and closer to my nostrils till that fills my consciousness, the sensation of air moving in, the sensation of air moving out. Totally focused in the immediate moment of the breath occurring.

After a bit I move from Anapana, meditation on breath, to vipassanna, moving meditation on body sensation.

Top of the head, observing the sensation in the small spot I seem to find, then moving the attention systematically around, and down over the face, through the structure of my head, down the neck to the shoulder, arm, hand, fingers top then bottoms one by one. Then the other arm.

Then the trunk of my body, breasts, under, stomach, upper pelvis, hips both internal and external, then down the right leg through the knee and top of the foot to each toe, like the fingers, top then bottom. And back up from the bottom of the toes, the sole of my foot, heel, back of the leg and across my root. Sensitive genitals, anus, nerves, to the other leg.

I work back up from my extremes through my back, neck, skull and find my crown chakra.

One cycle.

Goenkaji says 8 cycles an hour are common.

When I am in the groove, in the zone, I can cycle in minutes, but that is not the goal. Finding the smallest sensation, the most focus on the most minute sensation may be. But I can also hold my focus on the whole of my physical presence at once too.

The objective is to observe the sensations throughout the body without craving for the "good" sensation or aversion to the "bad" sensation. To observe sensation equanimously. The theory is based on the buddhist idea of dependent origin, every thing that happens is based on some prior happening. This is what results in karma. So by observation without attachment, you are effectively rewriting the karma from the good or bad reaction into an equanimous state.

One hour, I have a timer on my iphone that gently lets me know when I am done.

Usually I am in a large personal space, almost limitless and ever so quiet. Sometimes I stay for a bit.

Then a bit of metta, sending love from the power of that vast space and peace to others. Wanting them to have real peace, real happiness.

This is my daily practice.

Join me


Here is where:

It looks so plain, but inside people become aware of themselves in ways they didn't know they could. Men and women are segregated, 10 days of silence, no speaking, 11 hours a day of meditation. Hard. But also driven by your own desire, not by any pressure from the volunteers who facilitate it, feed and house you or teach the courses. Have you ever given yourself 10 days to be with yourself in an environment that lets you see yourself from your own true perspective? I did. I loved it. No longer the bipolar, and selfish bitch I once was....I hope. I am more quiet now.