Thursday, June 30, 2011
leaving on a jet plane
(God he's cute, where's my astro-naught?)
I feel like something is going to change. I've been through a lot of change lately, but its still in progress. I'm not "there" yet, and this summer adventure feels like it will be something I will not come back from the same person I am now.
Its good, and its sad. I like me, I got to a place where I was ok even after losing my mom and almost losing my mind and even maybe my life. But here is where I get to be me and not answer to anyone BUT me.
I want to find out how to have a different way of relating to people. I want to learn how to get into other people, be intimate, not sex but where we open to each other and share what we are at the deepest level.
You know, "spiritually". What ever the fuck that is. And I would also like to get fucked. 18 year old virginity sucks.
Sorry Daddy! Pretend you didn't read that!
Does this make sense? I want to be, I want to feel, and I want it to be ...more?
I'm lonely, excited, scared and on the edge of something.
There's things you lose in life and things you gain, but really its just that you were there for either of them that is the most important.